I'm just amazed at both the high production-value beat and well thought out vocals that went into this. You deserve every ounce of acknowledgement for creating something so enjoyable. I'm not sure if I'm a "true head" or not, but I'm definitely on my knees with this one. Please keep making amazing songs like this.
While I absolutely respect a talented flow and always appreciate the presence of organic elements in any electronic production, I feel that some easy improvements could make your song a bit tighter.
I give this a 7/10 for two reasons - the vocals are great and the "chopsticks"-sounding piano melody is fun to listen to a while. On the production side, a lot of work could be put into:
A) Better use of EQ and your mixer, especially for the vocals. A lot of sound editing programs actually have pretty decent presets for hiss removal, compression, and normalization (ie Sound Forge's Wave Hammer). It kind of sounds at the moment like you recorded your vocals with a dollar store mic in your bedroom (which is fine if you did, I do too, but a bit of tuning up can go a long way).
B) A lot more variation in the loop. It's a Hip Hop instrumental - it doesn't have to be an epic compositional hmasterpiece, but the addition of a few more layers in the higher and lower frequencies could work wonders, and would allow you to build up to the vocals rather than showcase them and then set the song on "cut and paste" mode. Also, if you edited the drums a bit more, you might have them accompanying your lyrics rather than just accomodating them to keep a tempo. For example, cutting the beat after 16 bars to emphasize what you're saying is a tried and true technique.
C) Effects. I don't think you would really need to overdo it, but a minute amount of reverb can help to smooth over some of that looped feeling.
D) More shakers. Shakers are what makes or breaks a song. Just kidding, the shakers are also great.
Anyways, best of luck.
thanks for all the info. My room mate made the beat, I just do the rapping. I'll be sure to show him your feedback though, appreciate the well thought out review. No worries about the zero though.
While I have recently joined Newgrounds and even more recently started feeling around for tracks that I really enjoy, I must say that this song remains one of my favourites. The style you've chosen to convey is as quirky and interesting as it is simply fun to listen to. Furthermore, the technical aspects - such as the adeptly compressed drums and well-cut samples has me in awed appreciation of your work.
You have struck a wonderful balance between bemusing ear candy and production-level intelligence, and I find the end result to be a pleasure to listen to.
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